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In the church as a whole, some go completely inactive and don’t even bother to try anything.They are consistently hurt by girls like me, and that hurt isn’t a mere cut, but a deep wound.By saying that, I realize full well that I’m stepping into an area of scarlet letters and glaring taboo.It is not socially acceptable where I am from to admit that you’re not necessarily looking for an RM.I remember sitting in our little booth and feeling my forgotten ice cream melt on my tongue as I listened, disgusted. These stories didn’t just go away after that night — in fact, I heard many more of them, some affecting incredible young men that I had the chance to interact with through my calling this year.It is no exaggeration whatsoever when I say that these men are the closest to the Savior that I have ever met.We have a problem, and it’s a problem that stems, in part, from a generation of young women who were told “RM or bust” from a very young age.I’m not saying we should completely throw out the idea of dating an RM, but that we shouldn’t let that define who we date.
Dating, though the main focus of this post, isn’t even the only sphere where this happens; as communities and wards, we sometimes turn blind eyes toward these young men (and young women, too) who come home early or stay home, as if it burdens us to associate with them or as if we’re ashamed to know them. But sometimes we use the honorable RM as an image, an idol, if you will, that we cling to and seek in our loved ones and neighbors because we don’t want to be judged.
We’d decorate our first home with flags and native prints and tell our children his stories. It’s been four years since I left the Young Women’s and a lot has changed since then.
My list is no longer hair/eye color focused and I’ve become incredibly picky when it comes to the spiritual things.
I must have written that last one dozens of times, spurred on by well-intending leaders who made sure that we knew the importance of a mission.
I’ll admit to picturing a handsome young man, home from an international mission with lots of stories and a new-found love of a culture.